KUE61st: Freak-outs, Belly Cleavage, & TMI

Here we are at the 35, almost 36 week mark. So only 5 weeks to go. And, really, I know that I could be sitting here, writing this - you sitting there, reading this - and only be a couple of weeks from delivering. That's just scary.

And I'm not the only one. I saw utter freak-out written across Mondo's face for perhaps the first time. And it happened after putting together our insanely complicated high chair. It's currently in our kitchen. Mondo keeps having a staring contest with it. And mumbling: "there's a high chair in our kitchen." It's somewhere between a bewildered statement and a rhetorical question.

I suspect the Mondo's are avoiding some key steps as a psychological attempt to stave off Piglet's impending arrival. Evidence:

* We've had the car seat for weeks but it remains uninstalled.

* We've had a cradle in a corner of our bedroom for weeks and it remains untouched.

* Our bedroom (where Piglet will be for however long she needs) is still in utter disarray.

* My bag is not packed.

* Neither is the Piglet's.

Freak-out, super scary moment thus far?  (TMI Warning for the faint!!!) 

Last week at my first of now weekly doctor's appointments I found out I'm already dilated 1 cm.  I know, I know. That could mean nothing or everything. But, either way, this girl is coming soon. And while some, or many of you, may be wondering why I would share that on a blog, let me tell you why. 

Most embarrassing thus far?

After last week's appointment, I called my mom to give her an update. She proceeds to tell my dad, which is totally cool. Here's where it gets weird. While at dinner Friday evening, mutual friends of both ours and my parents inform us that they too know of the current status of my cervix. Ummm, what?!  "Yeah, you're dad told me when I talked to him the other day." So let's recap, shall we? My father and family friend were discussing my cervix. Fabulous guys. Just to make this complete: in case you didn't know (b/c I didn't), cervical checks suck. You can uncover your eyes now. 

The most annoying? 

I'm running out of clothes. While I can still tie my shoes (from the side), I don't know how much longer I can wear shoes other than flip flops due to the swelling. I'm out of tops (dresses are still good). I had started wearing Mondo's t-shirts to the gym and around the house at least 2 months ago.  But, that all changed in one week. Literally from week 34 to 35, I can no longer wear his collection of IBC t-shirts without showing lower belly. (I wonder has "belly cleavage" taken off as an official term yet?) Even my maternity shirts are starting to revolt. Dear Lord.

The most uncomfortable? 

My sleep is jacked. So far, not because of pain, discomfort, or even the 3 to 4 trips to the bathroom each night. I totally had gotten into the zone with those things. No, my sleep is jacked because on weekends (of all times), after one of my trips to the loo, my brain goes on a continuous loop of minor, yet enduring anxiety about what is left to be done. These preggo hormones take worry and existentialism to an entirely new level. The worst was waking up at 1:30am and never going back to sleep. Maybe my body is in practice for the reportedly soul-destroying deprivation that comes once Piglet arrives? 

You know when I said I was over it? 

Well, I must be channeling Sammi Sweetheart from that pantheon of culture, Jersey Shore, because I'm done. I knew it was going to get worse: the size of the belly, my mobility, the swelling, the sciatica. But it is so much more trying than I could imagine. I think it's the cumulative impact. Right now 5 more weeks is feeling like that epic journey towards Mount Doom.

Really, I'm somewhere between being ready to have Piglet already and being terrified of having Piglet already. But, when I step back from the precipice of anxiety, I know everything is okay. 

Except when I stop to think about labor.